Every Desire Is a Chosen Unhappiness
Every Desire Is a Chosen Unhappiness
I think the most common mistake for humanity is believing you’re going to be made happy because of some external circumstance. I know that’s not original. That’s not new. It’s fundamental Buddhist wisdom—I’m not taking credit for it. I think I really just recognize it on a fundamental level, including in myself.
We bought a new car. Now, I’m waiting for the new car to arrive. Of course, every night, I’m on the forums reading about the car. Why? It’s a silly object. It’s a silly car. It’s not going to change my life much or at all. I know the instant the car arrives I won’t care about it anymore. The thing is, I’m addicted to the desiring. I’m addicted to the idea of this external thing bringing me some kind of happiness and joy, and this is completely delusional.
Looking outside yourself for anything is the fundamental delusion. Not to say you shouldn’t do things on the outside. You absolutely should. You’re a living creature. There are things you do. You locally reverse entropy. That’s why you’re here.
You’re meant to do something. You’re not just meant to lie there in the sand and meditate all day long. You should self-actualize. You should do what you are meant to do.
The idea you’re going to change something in the outside world, and that is going to bring you the peace, everlasting joy, and happiness you deserve, is a fundamental delusion we all suffer from, including me. The mistake over and over and over is to say, “Oh, I’ll be happy when I get that thing,” whatever it is. That is the fundamental mistake we all make, 24/7, all day long. [4]
The fundamental delusion: There is something out there that will make me happy and fulfilled forever.
Desire is a contract you make with yourself to be unhappy until you get what you want. I don’t think most of us realize that’s what it is. I think we go about desiring things all day long and then wonder why we’re unhappy. I like to stay aware of it, because then I can choose my desires very carefully. I try not to have more than one big desire in my life at any given time, and I also recognize it as the axis of my suffering. I realize the area where I’ve chosen to be unhappy. [5]
Desire is a contract you make with yourself to be unhappy until you get what you want.
One thing I’ve learned recently: it’s way more important to perfect your desires than to try to do something you don’t 100 percent desire. [1]
When you’re young and healthy, you can do more. By doing more, you’re actually taking on more and more desires. You don’t realize this is slowly destroying your happiness. I find younger people are less happy but more healthy. Older people are more happy but less healthy.
When you’re young, you have time. You have health, but you have no money. When you’re middle-aged, you have money and you have health, but you have no time. When you’re old, you have money and you have time, but you have no health. So the trifecta is trying to get all three at once.
By the time people realize they have enough money, they’ve lost their time and their health. [8]
每一个欲望都是一种选择的不快乐
我认为人类最常犯的错误就是相信某些外在环境会使你变得幸福。我知道这并不是什么新颖的观点。这并不新鲜。这是基本的佛教智慧——我并不想将其归功于自己。我只是从根本上认识到这一点，包括在我自己身上。
我们买了一辆新车。现在，我在等待新车到来。当然，每天晚上，我都在论坛上阅读关于这辆车的讨论。为什么呢？它是一个可笑的物件，只是一辆车，它不会对我的生活产生多大改变。我知道，一旦车到手了，我就再也不会在意它了。问题是，我对这种“渴望”上瘾了。我沉迷于这个外在事物会给我带来某种幸福和快乐的想法，而这完全是错觉。
向外寻求任何东西都是一种根本的错觉。但这并不是说你不该做外部的事情。你当然应该做。你是一个活生生的生物，有很多事情需要去做。你在局部地逆转熵增，这正是你存在的原因。
你注定是要做些什么的，你不仅仅是为了躺在沙滩上冥想一整天。你应该自我实现，你应该做你注定要做的事情。
认为你会改变外部世界，然后就能带来内心的平静、永久的快乐和应得的幸福，这是一种我们所有人都在受的根本错觉，包括我自己。在一次又一次的错误中，我们会说：“哦，当我得到那个东西时，我就会开心。”不管那个东西是什么。这是我们所有人一直在犯的根本性错误，24小时，每天不停重复。[4]
根本的错觉：有某样东西在外面，能够让我永远幸福和满足。
欲望是你与自己达成的一份契约，在你得到你想要的东西之前，你会一直不开心。我认为大多数人都没有意识到这就是欲望的本质。我想我们整天都在渴望各种东西，然后疑惑自己为什么不快乐。我喜欢保持对这一点的清醒认识，因为这样我就可以非常谨慎地选择自己的欲望。我尽量在任何时候都不要有超过一个大的欲望，同时我也认识到这正是我痛苦的源头。我意识到这是我选择不快乐的领域。[5]
欲望是你与自己达成的一份契约，在你得到你想要的东西之前，你会一直不开心。
最近我学到了一件事：完善你的欲望，比去做那些你并不百分百渴望的事情要重要得多。[1]
当你年轻而健康时，你可以做更多的事情。而通过做更多的事情，你其实是在承担更多的欲望。你没有意识到这在慢慢地摧毁你的幸福。我发现年轻人不如年长的人快乐，但更健康。而年长的人更快乐，但却不再那么健康。
当你年轻时，你有时间，有健康，但没有钱。中年时，你有钱，有健康，但没有时间。而年老时，你有钱，有时间，但没有健康。所以，三者兼得就是要同时拥有这三样东西。
等到人们意识到他们有足够的钱时，他们已经失去了时间和健康。[8]